LimeWire Music Blog

Oh, Levi Johnston. You’re making unprotected teen sex cool again, with your major magazine articles and your appearances on Larry King Live. But the American masses still don’t quite get you, do they? They just don’t understand your pain.

Luckily, piano man Ben Folds and High Fidelity scribe Nick Hornby totally understand what you’re going through, dude. And that’s why they’ve written a song for you. (Stream it below.) In a long, wacky article for the Financial Times, Hornby tells an interviewer about his motivation for the song: “Hopefully, it’s sympathetic… It’s the tension between his bravado and the panic he must have felt.”

What that amounts to is a song in which Johnston is confused to learn that Bristol’s mama Sarah is “a heartbeat from the presidency” and freaks out upon discovering that he’s expected to marry the teen mom. Perhaps the most hilarious part goes something like this: “So we talk and it turns out we don’t believe in abortion/And sex outside marriage is against our religion/They say, ‘Levi, it’s too late. You gotta do what you’re told.’” And then, of course, there’s the chorus, ripped straight from Johnston’s infamous MySpace page: “I’m a fuckin’ redneck, I like to hang out with the boys/Do some hockey, do some fishing and kill some moose.”

Well, I still don’t have much sympathy for Johnston. But it’s nice to know he’s got a few musical heavy hitters in his corner. I guess.

[via The Daily Swarm]