LimeWire Music Blog

Well, R. Kelly has just done the folks at The Onion a favor: He’s announced that he’s writing a memoir. The world’s humorists can thank him later. Yes, that’s right–the man who was, just this year, acquitted of child pornography charges (despite the existence of videos showing him, ahem, peeing on a minor) is going to tell us the story of his life. Considering the fascinating interminability of his most ambitious project to date, the Trapped in the Closet project/hip-hop soap oper/whatever that shit was supposed to be, I expect we’re looking a tome that could rival War and Peace in length.

Who is the brave soul who spearheaded the project? Why, it’s talk show host Tavis Smiley, who runs his own SmileyBooks imprint. (It remains to be seen how “smiley” Kelly’s fare will be…) And, of course, the R&B star isn’t going it alone. Also on board is co-author David Ritz.

As for the subject matter, Kelly (who also has a hit album, Untitled, on the charts) tells us he’s going to lay all his cards on the table–covering everything from his mom’s death to his legal woes to the stories behind his narsty lyrics. “I’m writing this book as Robert, not R. Kelly,” the singer said. “I’m tired of being misunderstood. I will show you the tears, fears, and sweat. I will open my heart and reveal the good in my life as well as all the drama. I want to tell it like it is.” I guess the question is, Can we handle the truth?