LimeWire Music Blog

Well, Ryan’s voiceover boasted that the American Idol producers had saved the best for last on tonight’s “Road to Hollywood” episode. However, they certainly didn’t do justice to the sentiments of Vanessa Williams’ #1 smash of the same name; instead, delivering four dreadful auditions along with 12 more Golden ticket holders possessing varying degrees of talent. While I was excited to get an extra first round audition episode primarily accentuating the positive, I wondered why the producers threw in those random bad performers. Do they think we need to be eased out of this phase of the process or something? Do they have to wean us off the bad performers slowly before Hollywood week, lest we go into some kind of withdrawal fits? I think not. Once you’ve seen one William Hung, you’ve seen them all… However, since this is a recap, let’s quickly go through the singers that had me drinkin’ some haterade…

Stephanie Fisher: She may have thought seven was her lucky number with her seventh audition for Idol, but boy, did she think wrong. This platinum blonde, overly tan girl, who also counts guest judge Victoria Beckham as her fashion icon, sauntered through the standard “Fever” and then utterly annihilated the Supremes “Baby Love.” The judges called her “horrible” and terrible” and one can only hope she has finally learned her lesson and won’t return next year.

Adrian Chanditch: Adrian, the Giant, as I like to call him was the 6ft 8in swimmer with big dreams and big nicknames like “Big Kahuna” and “Blondzilla” who claimed “I am a beautiful man flower.” He wanted to prove that size didn’t matter when singing. Apparently he forgot its talent that matters, and he possessed none. He treated us to a Tiny Tim underwater version of Elvis Presley’s “Cant Help Falling in Love.” The judges were a little taken aback. Kara’s face looked so uncomfortable it was like she was holding her buttocks together as to not let out a fart. Thankfully, she let out a “no” vote along with the rest of the panel, and it’s back to the pool for this giant.

Kimberly Bishop: In tonight’s strangest audition, 20-year -ld nursing student Kimberly laid waste to guest judge Katy Perry’s big hit “I Kissed a Girl.” She may have claimed to “have a big heart” and was “into recycling and helping kids in Africa,” but she certainly couldn’t sing a note. This Kristen Stewart/Marilyn Manson hybrid tried to be sexy, but it all came off as sad and a half assed attempt. She even seemed to develop an accent while “singing.” Luckily the judges sent Kimberly and her serious purple eye shadow on her way.

Shaddaii Harris: All I can say about 22-year-old Shaddaii is that both she and her mom must be tone deaf to think that she could sing. She butchered poor Alicia Keyes’ “Fallin’” so much that Simon said he never wanted to hear this much maligned song again. She then tried to warble a few flat bars of Michael Jackson’s “She’s Out of my Life.” The judges promptly said no and Shaddaii is out of our lives for good. (I hope!)

And now, that that’s over, let’s bring on the true Idol contenders please! Thank goodness there were a few singers who certainly could be crooning their way into the top 24 tonight… And what does that mean?… Why it’s countdown time! Let’s take a look at the Golden ticket holders ranking them from least likely to go the distance to potential pop superstar. (Please note that their personality, airtime and likability will be factors in their placement as well). Here we go…

12. Genesis Moore: She was the 16-year-old Monica look alike who sang Idol winner and now five-time Grammy winner Carrie Underwood’s “I Told You So.” She’s cute and has a powerful instrument, but I wasn’t wowed.

11. Rachel Hubbard: This cute brunette 16-year-old from Texas sang “Wrong Again” and she may make me feel a little wronged if she proves to have bigger talent in Hollywood than in the brief clip we saw tonight.

10. Thaddeus Johnson: He belted out Michael Bolton’s “How Am I Supposed to Live Without You” with confidence and power beyond his 16 years. He had Kara “whooing” along and Neil Patrick Harris grinning like a schoolgirl. I’m intrigued.

9. Amanda Shectman: Now 19-year-old theater student Amanda has me concerned. Is she just Tatiana 2010 – a girl who’s incredibly desperate for approval and stardom that’s also a big drama queen? Or is she a talented singer who’s just really eager and emotional? We will soon be the judge of that. In the meantime, she delivered a nice audition of “Good Morning Heartache” that almost made me forget all her hair tossing drama.

8. Lee Dewyze: This handsome 23-year-old sales clerk had to put down his guitar to audition. He didn’t need it with a lovely version of Bill Withers’ “Ain’t No Sunshine.” I wish we had seen more from him.

7. Lacey Brown: How on Earth did those kooky judges pick the super annoying Megan Joy over this talented girl last season??? That was a caw-tastrophe! (Pun intended people). At least Lacey made it through again this year after her unique audition of “Somewhere Over the Rainbow.” This 23-year-old Texan has a voice that’s like a mixture of Jewel and Corrine Bailey Rae. I’m looking forward to her originality in the competition.

6. Hope Johnson: Okay, the producers did save the best back story for last with Hope’s tale of poverty and saving her food from school to feed her younger brother. Hope was perhaps the most likable contestant featured tonight, exuding an optimistic spirit and incredibly joy. She delivered LeeAnn Womack’s “I Hope You Dance” with aplomb. Could she be the next big country Idol? It’s possible. She has strong potential. I just hope her voice proves to be more Carrie Underwood than Taylor Swift.

5. Jessica Furney: She tried to rock her audition last season with a Janis Joplin tune. But this year she was all pretty pop singing Leona Lewis’s “Footprints in the Sand” (a tune co written by judge Crankypants himself!). What a difference a year makes. Not only did she have a great makeover but her voice was stronger as well. It helps to know what kind of singer you should be and Jessica seems to be on the right path this year.

4. Michael Lynch: Big Mike, a buff 26-year-old father to be and personal trainer, showed off his big guns and his beautiful voice on the Righteous Brothers “Unchained Melody.” With charisma for days and good vocals, the judges were impressed and guest judge Kristin Chenoweth looked like puddy in his hands. We could see big things from this big guy.

3. Aaron Kelly: Is he Archie 2.0? (That would be a reference to Idol runner-up David Archuleta from season 7, folks). He could be. He’s 16, cute as a button and has a great voice as he displayed on Miley Cyrus’s “The Climb.” (Hey Miley, I hope you were taking notes and getting a voice coach, mmmmkay?!) Anywho, Aaron also had a rough back story of moving around a lot as a child and then, finally coming to live with his aunt and uncle. Cue the tears lil girls. With a strong voice and a slight country twang, Aaron is strong bet to make the top 24.

2. Didi Banami: She was auditioning for her late best friend, Rebecca, and she did her proud. This beautiful blonde has a voice that is a bit like a combination of Adele and Jewel with a unique twist. She made her audition song sound like it was her own and considering it was The Beatle’s “Hey Jude,” that was quite a feat. The judges also felt this Hollywood, CA native had a big heart to go with those good pipes and sent her sailing through.

1. Crystal Bowersox: Well, if you ask me the judges saved the best for the middle of the show with the quick and impressive audition by Crystal Bowersox. The 23-year-old mother and musician sang Janis Joplin’s “Piece of My Heart” and she had me reaching for the DVR remote for an instant replay. She had a little bit of a hippie style and a big bold voice. I wish we got even a minute more of Crystal, but we all know you don’t need a lot of airtime to go the top 12. I’m talkin’ bout you Kris Allen. However, I do hope we get a lot more of Crystal in Hollywood next week.

Whew! That’s it Idol fans. We got our final glimpse of the audition rounds, and I thought that was actually supposed to be Tuesday night. Oh, you Idol producers love to tease don’t ya? They powered through 100,000 hopefuls and granted 181 of them with trips to the entertainment capital of the world. Soon those numbers will drop quicker than General Larry Platt’s pants on the ground and a new Idol will be crowned. Until then, it’s time for tonight’s Idol thoughts…

Was Simon really dancing and making jokes throughout the show? Um, that’s supposed to be new judge Ellen’s job… Have you noticed how Kara is totally taking over the “mothering” role Paula used to hold on the show? That girl is a hugging machine! … Did Randy actually give good singing advice? He sure did, encouraging Hope Davis to sing through to the end of her phrases and land those sentiments!… And is it me or do you love these quick hour long shows? … Ok, enough questions, let me know your thoughts. The Idol train is off and running. Next stop: Hollywood.