Hello, my name is Mishka, and I have returned from the polar ice caps at long last! It took me eight years to find my way out of the tundra, surviving on seal jerky while tracking the steps of a migrating polar bear. And now I see how fortuitously my arrival has been timed—the all-powerful avant-garde Collective known as "Britney Spears" has released a new album, called Blackout.

The saw-like synth waves featured on the album's best track, "Gimme More", are a thought-provoking representation of what the giant American War Machine must sound like when it lumbers angrily in the Middle East, no? It saddens me to hear how deeply the current political situation has permeated the artistic life of this country.

The many members of Britney Spears do an excellent job with their femmebot frontwoman, who goes by the same name. She is best at her most synthetic, when her voice is distorted past recognition as on the grindingly repetitive "Radar". It is only when the femmebot is made to sound human that tracks falter, such as on "Toy Soldier". Perhaps her oddly strained warbling here is meant to illustrate the ways in which the robot may surpass us?

Much credit must go to the Collective leaders (called "producers"), especially the talented Swedish duo Bloodshy & Avant, who have managed to direct a massive crew of over twenty credited artists to create what is the Collective's most danceable and convincing album since 1999. This was the year the Collective released the much tamer ..Baby One More Time, and also the year I was tragically lost to sea on a breakaway ice floe.

Each song on Blackout is a perfect expression of the current pop Zeitgeist, whether its Fergie's bullet-style delivery in the song "Hot as Ice", Rihanna's sexy-sweet attitude backed by hip-hop orchestration on "Break the Ice", or polished New Wave electro on "Heaven on Earth". Overall, I am amazed at the femmebot's emotional range, and indeed people tell me that in the time I've been away she has even reproduced. The world has truly become a marvelous place in eight short years!